


Risk my life for you

by rubbertapping



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack, F/M, Self Insert, fuck do i know, i dont know a thing my dude, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9652349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubbertapping/pseuds/rubbertapping
Summary: My friend asked me to write a Her x Karkat and i'm gonna deliver





	1. Chapter 1

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" *CRASH*

Karkat went over to see what happened. If it was Trevor punching holes in his windows again....

A girls voice rang out "Ouch.... that should teach me not to pick fights with old men again..."

Karkat was astounded. A girl sat in the middle of his house, surronded by pieces of roof. She has a weird skin colour, brownish? Makeup, maybe. She was wore a Red hoodie and a miniskirt and and fishnets leggings and red crocs. Karkat liked her accent ,her sense of style. The girl looked up and Karkat saw into her brown eyed like limpid tears, surrounded by heavy black eyeliner. "Wowo..." he breathed, "you'ere one beautifull mama."  
He offered a hand to the weird girl. "WHat is your name???"   
She took his hand. Her hand felt warm to the touch, which Karkat liked. " I'm Call me Risk. Risk Hansie."   
Karkat repeated the words like a wonderful new sensation in his troll Mouth. "Risk Hansie..."

The girl dusted herself off. "So, which way back to Mud Koala?"  
"M.. Mud Koala?" Karkat scratched his head "That's not anywhere near here. I'm not sure it's even a place on Alternia."  
The girl widened her eyes and gasped. "Gasp! Alternia? I'm on another country? Heck, another continent??"  
Karketl felt consfused. "Continent? Alternia is a planet..."  
"I'M ON ANOGHTER PLANET? i'm from earth btw."  
Karkat yelled"Earth?! But that',s very far away! I've to to an earth kid, but i've never seen one!" Karkat began looking at the gil from head to toe. "Wow... you look.. ... ... ..... different from us."  
Risk glared at Karkats horns and skin "Tyeah, I can tell. Anyway, nyall have some of those, uh, teleporting thingies?"  
Karkat for some reason, Karkat wanted her to satay, he didnt want her to leave.."Uh... we do not have any way to get you home.. I guess you'll have to stay here for a while..."

The girl clicked her toungue for a moment. " Alright. You got another bed, boy?"   
Karkat shifted on his feet. "I only have a not bed, but I can give you a place to slepe? I cam ask Kanaya to make a mattress for you and Equiuis could probably throw together a bed..."  
The girl smiled at him"No need to go to such lengths for me!!!! I can just sleep on a pile of laundry for all I care, at least until I get home."  
Karkat bllushed because the girl was so nice!!!! " Okay, if you say so...."  
He went over to his room and stuck his tongue out in discusst because it was messy. "I'm sorry about the mess"  
The girl looked distastefully at the mess tehen turned to karkat "Its okay"!! we can clen it up together."

They cleaned up the mess. Risk picked up the garbage(Karkat ran around the room to prevent the girl from seeing his dirty underwear or troll chocolate stash"it's okay i'll clean this part!!" ) and karkat cleaned up the rest. They found some thick pillows from when karkat was a grub and used it for Risk's bed, along with some sheets that could probably act as blankets. "Oh yeah i have a couch trevor threw at my wall the other day!" Rizk was happy 2 sleep on the couch.

Riqkz woke up befor karkat the next day he was still in his Recupercoon slerping soundly in the slime.  
"He was nice enough to haul the couch all the way into his living room, " Said Risk . "I should make him brekafast!!!!! what the hell do trolls eat."  
She looked around the kitchen.It had a less than adequate number of pots for Risk's liking, but she had to make do. She pulled out a pot. "Oh yeah!!!! " She EXCLAIMED." I have those curry leaves that i stole from my Earth naighbour Hose before she beat me up. "  
She then made some curry with the curdy leaves. she wanted to make chicken curry but Karkat had no chicken so she used a mysterious meat that carkAt had in his fridge.  
"Whehw! that was tiring thank god im good at cooking!"  
Karkat went into the kitchen as Risq wa finishing up "What are you doing? it smells wonderful!"   
She smelled brightly at him her neat rows of teeth shining white as whitewash. "Oh Karkat you're awake!!! Lets eattadakkimasu!"

They ate the curry romantically, like those two dogs eating spaghetti except there was no spagetti XD.After they finished Larkat started to feel weird.  
"Are you okay Karkat-chan?" The girl asked worriedly?   
He frowned "Maybe I'm allergic to something in the curry?"  
"Oh yeah I used the meat that was in your frigdge!!!"  
"Oh no thats fine it was just moobeast tongue. It was going to go bad soon if i didn't cook it anyway."  
He widened his eyes. "OH NO!! I'm currytose intolerant! They evil villains stole that memory of my lusus telling me to not eat curry from me, so I forgot"!  
He keeled over, his stomach hurt a bit "ow!! take me to the sickbay, my love!"  
Risk panicked? "Sick bay? Where's that?" but it was too late Karkat had already passed out!

Risk hauled up Karkat with her strong arms, He was heavy but she was strong. She brought her to the nearest hive. "Does anyone know where the sickbay is!" She screamed. She bumbed into something and dropped Karkat "AHH dangu what the hell" Her breast dingle dongled as she stood up in front of her was a ...

"OMG MY GOSH!! A transportaliser!. But.... karkat said.........."  
She got angry and then sad so she yelled "AHHHHH"  
"I heard you shouting, are you okay؟" Risk looked up. In front of her was a pretty girl with a nice red skirt. "My name is Kanaya Maryam. Wait, Isn't that Karla??? Why is he passed out?"  
Kanaya was pointing at Kakrat who was lying at the base of the transportaliser. "Omg we have to get him to the sickbay!" 

~~~

They went to the sickbay. Kanaya Knocked the door. "Hey!! Sickbay! We need help our friend is dying!!!!"  
A voice rang out from the indise of the sickbay "Shut up I'm bungee jumping in here!"   
Kanaya broke down the door. "He Is Having An Allergic Reaction!"   
The doctor yelled. he really was bungee jumping. He bungeed back into the room from the window. His nameplate read Diqson. because he is a dick, son. 

He examined Karkat. "He is fine even if he dies it's not gonna be today now go away."  
He went back to jungee bumping.

Kanaya cut his bungee cord. They left.


	2. godsh darn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah this thing has another chapter im sorz

Rizk heaved karkats beautiful sleeping body onto thw train kanaya had bought tickets for the three of them. "THAnks kanaya!! said risk".   
Kanaya sat down on the seat. karkat's enunciated self lay in between them. He looked like he was slseping. Kanaya was thinking she shoulda bought an extra seat so he ciould lie down properly.  
"is he gonna be okay?" assked Kanaya Maryam.   
"Of course he is!" Risk beamed uncertainly. "I stole a needle and some sort of medicine or something from Diqson's office and injected him before we left, so he should last."  
Kanaya shifted in her seat, distressed. She looked around the train, trying to take her mind off of Karkat's potential demise. There were only a handful of passengers other than them; a girl with her handsome brown hoofbeast, an ugly middle aged man, a slender bald lady, some schoolgirls who were very kawaii desu, and soshilyrics.   
"Hey," Risk said, putting a shoulder on Kanaya's hand, "It's gonna be okay. I promise.  
Kanaya smiled. "Thanks Risk," and she turned to look out of the window.  
Risk materialised a sketchbook and her facourit pilot lucky collector's edition limited edition blu ray edition 0.7 orange mechanical pencil. She flipped open her sketchbook, and found Karkat's handsome mug looking up at her in alluring graphite. Risk blushed a bit  
Kanaya leaned over, being careful not to fall on Karkat and squash him. "Oh, did you draw that?" she asked incredibled. Risk nodded and blushed more. Kaneya conitnued ",It looks really nice! You're a great artist."  
The hor- hoofbeast was walking around the train, obviously bored. Up close, Kanaya saw that he had a human face. He leaned over Risk. "Is that anime? Draw me!" Then Kanaya smacked him and he mysteriously did not show up to the horse- i mean hoofbeast race.

Risk took up her pencil and began doodling. Her page was soon filled with various drawings. A lizard man, her comic OC, some hand lettering ("Homestuck sucks!" "I play Pokemon GO everyday") and other random characters. 

The train reached their destination. They got off, carefully carrying Karkat.Kanaya lead the way, because she knew Alternia better than RIsk. 

Omg risk were here! said kanaya after ten mimutes of walking. she was now holding Kermit Because risk was tires ok  
Risk looked up at the bulding it had tbhe words Health Centre on it on a big sign. Rosk turned to kanaya "Okay, how do we get in. "  
She pondered this outloud , "Well, theres a door, but We need this chapter to be longer." she said.  
"Okay!" said riek "ive got a plan"  
She looked around for a car or something. There was one parked nearby, it's owner was putting the coins in the parking machine. The ownner was a cat lol get it car cat anyway Risk took the car and apologised profusely. She staryed the engine and drove straight at the door. there was. loud crash but the door didn't budge. The car was crumpled in THE CRUMPLE ZONE. Risk was bewildered. The car owner was impressed, and walked off to find out where the door is from.   
"But why!" Yelled risk. Kanaya examined the front of the car and then the door. Kanaya widened. "It says pull!!!"   
Risk face palmed . Oh!!  
She backed up the car and pulled the door open. It opened. 

Risk cheered. !! yeyay. And then karkat coughed which is when they knew theh were running out of time.  
So they walk into the doctor's office, and, like, this bro named Doctor Kamale was in. So they totally walked into the office and the Doc was like "Yo!! Wassup with ya homie there man what up with 'im??"  
Risk's eyes welled up with tears! "Doc! P-Please, my friend has Contact Dermatitis on the inside of his stomach." She fell to her knees, desperately wiping at the moisture on her cheeks. "Help us, Dr Kamale!"  
The doctor stood up quickly, knocking over his chair! "That's not contact dermatitis, that's anaphylactic shock you n00bs!"   
Risk was just there crying and didn't say anything. The doctor quickly asked the nurse for some, what was it, medicine. He shoved three purple vitamin C into Karkat's mouth. The Kanaya yelled"You're only supposes to take two of those per day, dlctr! Wat are you doing"  
The doctor turned grimly to the panicked troll. "There are desperate times, my dear girl, and desperate times call for desperate measures." The nursw returned with the medicine. The doctor took the wbig white pill from the nurse and fed to Karak.  
A few minutes later Karkat opened his eyes and coughed. Risk stopped crying. "Karkie you're alive!! I was just thinking about what My Ommortal Quote to put on your tombstome.   
Karkat smiled tiredly. "Rizk, you should know that I'd want '' on my gra-"  
"Don't talk about dyjng anymore plase!!!" Risk was crying again but this time out of happimess.  
She wiped her tears avgain and said to to Dr Kamale, "Thank you for saving my home slice's life. How could I ever repay you?"  
"It's 2.6 billion ringgit."  
Risk then turned to Kanay "Ypu've helped me so much! If this we'rent a Risk/Karkat I'd be gay for You."  
"Really?" asked Lanaay  
"lol no I like Rose"  
Kanaya left the clinic dejected.

Risk ran out after her, followed by Karkat, Dr Kamale yelling at them to pay the fee, and also the cat driver. Risk chases after Kanaya, yelling "I'm sorry! My heart belongs only to Karkat!!" But Kanaya was gone.  
Karkat caught up toRisk and she took his hand, they both ran far far far away.

"Look!" Karkat said, pointing at somrthing on the graund "It"s a transportelaiser."  
Risk stopped abruptly at the base of the teleportation machine. Karkat almost fell on his face but caught himself .   
"Why did you lie to me!!!" Yelled Riosk. Karkat sheeped.  
"Actially, Risk," said Karlat, "I didn't want you to leVer." Karkat gazed into Risk's eyes. He was afraid. Afraid that she'd hate him, afraid that she'd leave him, and most of all, afraid of being alone.   
Risk's deep brown orbs bored into his. She grasped his hand tightly. "Karkat, I'd never leave you. I'd risk my life for you."  
Suddenly, they heard shouts coming from behind them. It was the doctor and the cat!   
"Run!" Yelled risk hansie, and they both jumped on the teleportaliser and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i done? i hope so

**Author's Note:**

> please kill me


End file.
